Climbing to the top of a hill to the castle high above. Post rock encouraging me step by step, heart racing, heavy breath. I get to a ridge and find a mast with a hundred prayer flags attached flapping in the wind. From this point I can see the valley below and the valley behind.

I climb further and find a young monk inviting me inside Tsenmo Gonpa, a sort of temple. He is young, about 20 and wearing a red cap as well as the typical robe. These guys have embraced modernity.

Inside the walls are surrounded by Tibetan Buddhist artwork. Different types of budhas surely each laden with symbolism. One great thing about religion is that they bring us great art. Pure art created out of divine love and dedication – a volition to tell stories of inspiration, to share them and to move all those who come upon it.

In the centre is Buddha. Sitting calmly eyes half closed, lips half smiling. 12 feet tall. One foot is the size of my stomach.

A woman comes in and bows down in front of him. She looks foreign but seems to feel the strong connection to buddhism. There are many such travelers here. I cautiously step around her and exit this cubby hole of spirituality.

I sit outside on a stone ledge and take in my surroundings. The view from here is incredible

And just like that! I hear allahs call from a mosque below. A singing voice carried up to me with the wind. Ahahahaha! what an awesome place this is.
And I’m Thrilled!
Thrilled with this moment!!!!

what a beautiful, magical place!

http://creationsofahumankind.wordpress.com/

thank you

roughly 8:43 pm at 301 Rosemary Apartments, Bandra West, Mumbai

im in the zone right now.
the warm and comfortable zone.
comfortable both physically and emotionally
deeply content. heart full.
nothing can wipe this satisfied grin off my face
or the warm wood fire in my belly.

I don’t know whether it is just the kaki king pouring in to my ears,
or Tarini’s giraffe tent lamp that humbly illuminates the room in perfect tone,
or that im sitting cozily on a chaotic assortment of cushions on the floor,
or its the cool breeze coming in from the open balcony from the last monsoon lightening storm

or that aditya and tarini are both right next to me being peaceful and lost in their own world with headphones on. We are not saying anything, but i feel the great energy and inspiration circulating around the room.

things are also calm because five minutes ago we just ended a solid hour of intense virtual warfare. Our latest obsessive fad – Call of Duty 2 (2004) has us running around virtual WW2 battlefields with guns hunting each other down while crouching in the bushes.

For hours we sit together 4 feet apart in total silence staring intently at our macs. This silence is only broken with manic laughter after one of us does something ridiculously silly or a frustrated exclaimation. To anyone unfamiliar with the exhilaration of videogames, or onlookers witnessing this absurd ritual take place on a post-work daily basis (sita) it can seem painstakingly bizarre and irritating. Why don’t you do something social they ask. But you fail to realize that it is one of the most exciting social things we can do and we Love it.

In the last month we have become an inseparable threesome. Each crazier, geekier and more delusional than the next. We feed off each others strange ideas and expanded on them with wide-eyed over enthusiasm. Together the three of us have a long list of radical ridiculous things we should do. Sadly their ridiculousness and grandness (for we are never short of dramatic style) makes it less likely to execute. (my favorite, spur of the moment ninja clothed umbrella fight in the Phoenix Mills Mall courtyard)

I have grown to love them dearly. And I am quite certain that it is because of this small family unit that I feel so happy and comfortable amidst the maddening chaos that is bombay. They fill up my cup and make me embrace and excited everyday. Beyond that their great minds and creativity inspire me greatly. We have fun but all enjoy deeping into the deep philosophy, sociology, psychology, cosmic, romantic realms of life. That part is the key to massaging my soul, and why our friendship is more than random adventures and movie screenings.

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Its the end of march and Mumbai is heating up. Beyond the daily 34c and 48% humidity, everyone has got crazy IPL fever. Last sunday I walked through the park and saw about 200 pick up cricket games occurring simultaneously. I kid you not. there was a triplet of stumps every 5 meters, with bowlers all crossing over each other – people of all ages and kinds playing enthusiastically. I really don’t know how people kept track of their individual games but they did. The energy and determination was rampant. And how can you blame them when the Mumbai Indians are on fire. It feels like 2004 Boston all over again (the year the redsox ended an 86 year “curse” and won the world-series). I often talk with our deaf boys after a game and they recall with animated excitement the amazing shots God Sachin played the night before. Watching him play is always such a pleasure no matter what team you support. He is in complete control, almost to the point where its too easy. He himself has stated that it’s his aim to just play with some of the younger players and only really intervene as a way to “control the game if the plan goes astray”.

I went to a game last week with Rian. Leave it to me to go to the one game out of the 7 that Mumbai lost. Nonetheless the energy in the crowd was absolutely insane. I have seen cricket games in london, but the noise can only compare to an international world cup qualification game played in Wembley.

The Indian Premier League, for those a little less familiar, is a highly commercialized modified version of the long colonial game most people know as “cricket”. You know that game thats played in white socks and white cardigans over nice lawns in between breaks of tea that last far too long. Here the IPL is funked up, each team wears vibrant colors, has colourful names and notable sponsors. The whole event is itself filled with plenty of awards and a lot of money thrown around. Many compare it to the privatization seen in baseball or European Club Football.

Deep in the 3rd season and so far it seems to work. It has truly livened up the game. With added Bollywood edge, the audience for these games have doubled and tripled to include kids and lots of females. This version of the game is compressed it into 4 hours – where each team faces a 120 balls and has a chance to score as much as they can within those pressured constraints.

Of course enthusiasts, including my dad, Mathew Fisher and Steven Glover will always say, its a bastardized version of the game; that 5-day Test cricket is the real sophisticated version of the game that takes into account strategy and endurance. (important to note that all of these guys secretly love 20/20 and my dad is naturally responsibly for getting me into the game in the first place)

But the adrenal excitement and tension that 20/20 cricket creates is undeniable. the game can change at any second and more often than not boils down to the very last ball bowled.

Last night was a prime example of the game. All was over for mumbai as they barely made a 100 runs (good game average is 150), the 3rd last guy came on and just went insane. He smashed it and in 15 minutes – 19 balls got the score up to 171. Thats some insanity you cant find in football or baseball.

Besides masterclass Sachin Tendulkar, the other members of the team all perform solidly. The collective all-roundedness is what truly keeps the Mumbai Indians on top. It’s also why India has been doing quite well in the last few years in it’s international tournaments.

Overall the IPL is not just a crazy money maker, but also helps uncover new talent available for international level, letting experienced people like Tandulkar play with some of the young dudes. So yeah you can read a hundred articles about the IPL, but i wanted to cover it myself because at the moment it feels so part of being in mumbai. The energy and excitement that surrounds the lead up, and the follow through of each game.

I got tickets to see Mumbai – Delhi which I plan to go to with some people. Unfortunately Aditya is being a delhi loyalist and won’t join the mumbai hype. His sister, on the other hand is a much smarter cookie. Although, she’s the one who got me to come to this great city in the first place.

Will report more soon, sorry for my extended absence.

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see more at http://iplt20.com
and http://www.youtube.com/user/IPL for free streamings of live games.

Hi there,

i just got back from work.
To do that I took a train from Church gate and an auto rickshaw from the station.

I’m so Bombay now.

As you might have heard, the trains are absolute madness. I am sincerely grateful for my eager teen concert going days where I learnt the important life skill of navigating through a sea of stubborn bodies to get closer to a stage. This is exactly how you get off trains here. throw your body weight into the crowd and squeeze through tiny gaps of passengers who stand their ground firmly. Then you have to deal with the strong current of people coming on to the train. None of this british “after you sir” attitude. It’s quite a fulfilling feeling once you get off though. Another big goofy tourist smile runs across my face.

Work has been amazing. Or as Dhruv loves to say: “Intense”. he loves throwing that word around but it truly captures the spirit of the work that he does in order to keep Mirakle moving against the strong headwind that comes with going against the norm.

To remind you, I am currently working for a company called Mirakle Couriers. A For-Profit social business enterprise that employs low income deaf adults to collect, sort and deliver corporate mail. Some of the big business industrial companies are our clients. We have also recently got more into delivering specialist magazine publications to their subscribers – since a lot of them are not local or do not traditionally travel through normal post.

We have two offices: one in Churchgate, a hub for south bombay, and one in Andheri, a hub for the northern suburbs. We have 45 deaf employees (age 20-30), 15 girls who handle back office data entry (after learning now good with computer) and 30 boys who run deliveries in a designated area.

We are not a charity and not an NGO but a profit generating business. We don’t help the deaf community. we merely help them help themselves by employing them where others do not. All over India the deaf community faces harsh conditions, their inability for aural communication also means they don’t get heard or lobbied, their oppressions are literally unvoiced. Dhruv calls it the silent disability. So here we are giving them self worth, opening bank accounts, giving them pan numbers, making them pay taxes, giving them insurance.

Plugging them into the market…
Plugging them into them into the Matrix.

Thats what we do.

Working there has been really great. The employees are really cool. They are hard working and give it all they got. Initially the hardest thing I found working with is leaving behind that idea that they are deaf – disabled – handicapped – therefore delicate and “special”. Sure they might have more struggles in life because they are deaf, but they are as human as you and I are. They have unique personalities, they have tempers, they have frustrations, they have emotions – positive and negative and they love to laugh. Dhruv told me on the first day to stop the pity crap, it is unnecessary, they are just like you and me. Society misunderstands and puts them in a special category. They honestly are no more different than a poor person is poor, who has no money to do what you and I can do. Beyond that they are people, they laugh, they cry; they love, they hate, they smile and they get stressed. The deaf community have also created their own internal culture, based around Indian Sign Language

Some of them are born deaf and some of them became deaf through an accident at an early age. Some of them are born to hearing parents, some of them have kids who are hearing. Most of them have spouses who are also deaf. Many of them have severe alcoholics and financially wreck-less members in their immediate families. They bring home their pay check from Mirakle and support their families. It’s a simple but honest thing that makes a difference to their circumstances.

There are ofcourse a few star employees who are really smart. We interviewed some of the girls here . we plan to do some in depth interviews with some of our star boys too. Their stories really will bring tears to your eyes.

Day to day I’m busy with various different activities: creating invoices, emailing clients, updating the company blog and websites, and other marketing activities.

As I had mentioned before the commute to work is quite a journey. I usually go to the Churchgate office In the mornings I don’t usually brave the madness of the trains and instead take a one our taxi that will get me there relatively comfortably for a reasonable rate. I eat breakfast, listen to my music and stare out the window on the way.

I get there around 10:00 and see everyones smiling faces. They say good morning to me (a hand gesture that reassembles something like a flower opening up followed by a thumbs up)

Everyday I am inspired by them, no matter what hardships they endure in the mornings or after work, they still smile in the office and follow the code of the organization. They are proud of wearing their Orange T-shirts and act as a powerful team. Somewhere inside i marevel at how they are even nice and even smile to me: a hearing foreigner that sits behind his Apple macbook. But I guess they understand the job and what the company has done for them.

Often Dhruv meets clients in the mornings and so is not always in the office when we get there but he comes an hour or so later. But he enters like a FireCraCKER.

BAM BAM BAM OK I WANT THIS THIS AND THIS DONE, OK WHERE IS THIS, OK LAST NIGHT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, OK WHERE IS MY TEA AND NIMBU PANI, WHERE DID YOU GO OUT LAST NIGHT? OK HOW MANY SHIPMENTS HAVE GONE OUT, LLEEETTSS GOOOO

with this, an amazing wave of energy sweeps into the room and brings life into a usually quiet office.

The other fun things working at Mirakle Couriers is the silence even when there is a lot of commotion. Dhruv gives some big pep talks from time to time to push them to deliver more – Power deliveries, and they all get very excited. You see this on their faces even if you don’t hear voices cheer you know that is the same emotion they are feeling. its wonderful to be around.

Lunch is usually a sandwich/pastry cafe nearby or an indian place where we indulge in Dosas and other south indian vegetarian treats. It’s fun seeing our 6ft5 Jamaican friend Rian get into the food. There was a week when he fell in love with samosas. On one friday morning he was rushing to the station and thought it a good idea to pick one up from a street stall on the way to work. Rian was on a moderate continental diet for the next few days.

Leaving the office is another bizarre experience. Suddenly the sounds and noise of bombay attacks you. All day you have been hearing quiet shuffling of papers and a few claps and hand movements and suddenly you are overwhelmed by obnoxious honks and wild conversations.

Then for the next hour or two I forget that everyone isn’t deaf and that they won’t understand my mal-formed signs to get their attention or ask them questions. It’s pretty funny. Dhruv apparently dreams in sign, i can believe it.

Overall ive been really enjoying my first few weeks here. The work and the work culture suits me enormously. I am a quiet observer by nature and so being quiet and watching (trying to decipher) people signing around me is really neat. Amongst us hearing and speaking people the culture and atmosphere is very cool. We focus and get things done but we stop to chitchat and joke around. Also very often in the afternoons we have a little informal discussion on deaf culture and the state of disability in india.

There is a lot to be done, but it is extremely exciting to be part of an organization that is Doing. And doing right.

Looking back at my goals from a few weeks ago, working here has met my expectations and more.

I will be back to report more soon.

In the meantime please check out

http://miraklecouriers.wordpress.com

Lots of Love

Rohan

view of the sea-link on the way to work

The shift has been relatively easy, or perhaps thats just me being okay with everything. The most important element for me is that I don’t feel stuck. I can flex my flexibility. it makes everything a whole lot easier. I can jump into taxi’s or auto-rickshaws and tell them where to go. That freedom takes away the pressure of getting used to everything. i can’t explain why exactly.

First few days in bombay, as well as the first few days at work, were surely frustrating. But i reminded myself: of course. it’s always going to be like that. i’m not the only one going through it, nor the only one who has gone through it.

Let me go over my week to paint you some pictures.

As the wheels folded up into the body of the aircraft, I felt a sigh of relief. Finally I had left cold foggy Delhi behind. It has really been cold this year. Luckily while having fun in Goa, I managed to escaped most of it. But for the few days I was there it was really quite intense. People all over the city were wearing wooly hats and huddling over fires. Not that I had had a bad time there, but I was looking forward to being back in tropical warmth.

I arrived at Chhatrapati Shivaji International airport to be greeted with the big mahatma Gandhi quote “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” This sight mixed with the music pumping through my ears, immediately gave me goosebumps. I couldn’t help but let out a big grin. I collected my bags and headed for the taxi stand. There I found a friendly driver who understood my badly accentuated destination and then threw my bags onto the roof, tying it down with a string. Welcome to bombay, I thought, as my stupid excited grin got even wider.

Sita lives in Khar West off Linking Road, which is a pretty major road. It’s majority is determined by its bold two story KFC that stands proudly on one of it’s corners. Sita has a really nice two bedroom flat, quite modernly decorated. After seeing a few places with Radha and Ashish last weekend, I really recognized that it really is good quality, clean and modern. A nice seating area for 6 -8 people with Charpoy in the corner against the window. It is an extremely comfortable contraption (like a day bed) where Sita spends much her evenings on the phone or on the computer.

The area is extremely convenient, a lot of major shops are walkable distance – on Linking Road. Everything else is very close-by and there are plenty of extremely cheap and convenient auto-rickshaws that are there to take you from place to place within Bandra, Khar and Juhu. Bandra is known to be very hip and chilled out when compared to the business of South Bombay. There are a lot of cool outdoor roof top bars with eclectic music and floating on a chilled vibe.

The first day I tired myself out walking around in the hot sun trying to organize internet and phone access to no avail. At the end I came back with a big headache and nothing had been fixed. a total waste of time. Anyway, me being a youth grown up in this digital age, Any moment without internet or phone makes you feel lost and ungrounded. At least with the internet i could look up where things are in the vicinity etc. Anyway, I had no choice, i got over that.

Second day here I was in a cafe with Radha and Ashish where we spotted both Vidya Balan and Prity Zinta. Both were having lunch extremely casually, un-mobbed by anyone in the cafe. It’s the bombay thing, everyone is chilled out no one is losing their heads freaking out about these bollywood super-megastars sitting in the same place as them. So cool.

Ashish, afterwards kindly got me set up with the internet data card and things significantly proved since then. sad? perhaps, but true.

To get to work I take a conventional black and yellow taxi. The old Bombay classic ones are cool looking but extremely uncomfortable. That novelty wore off quick and now I have learnt to look for the newer swiftier looking ones that would cut my commute down by 20 minutes. At a cooperative hour in the morning it takes me about 50 minutes to go from Khar West (home) to Churchgate (office). Cooperative means moving traffic. There have definitely been trips that are totally uncooperative where the traffic becomes so clogged and stubborn that moving 100 meters takes 20 minutes. This could mean an hour and a half commute, easily. I am told I should be happy because the newly constructed sea-link (an elbow bridge over the water that is a faster way to get from the suburbs to the main part of south bombay (the belly if you will) cuts the trip in half; rather than taking the conventional route of struggling through the complicated, heavily congested, upper torso).

So thats the raw scene of things over here. Despite some of the initial hassles I have really been enjoying myself here. I feel at home and comfortable. Living with Sita has been great. We have been doing the right mix of doing our own thing but once in a while meeting in the middle to hang out. There’s a cook who comes everyday and there’s a maid who comes everyday, both extremely quiet but useful. (they both come while we are at work and so we always return to a clean house and a fridge full of delicious surprises.) Everything else is extremely easily to order over the phone and delivered. Even the most simplistic household products will come straight to your door. Now that you can’t get in London.

This second week has already started a lot more cooperatively. I feel more comfortable and more confident about being here. Overall I am thoroughly enjoying getting to know my new city.

I’ll come back soon with more work related thoughts.

Lets get some background to how I got here.

Up until I was about 18 I had very little connection to the Motherland. The language was alien, the movies were terrible, the songs were silly and the food too spicy. Trips to visit the country were tedious obligations to see the family. It’s not like I didn’t love them, I just wondered why they live in that dirty backward place. Well I didn’t completely hate it, I just didn’t get it (nor tried to) and was just watching the clock for when could leave and go back to normal reality (from my european frame of reference)

I remember first going to Bentley University in the fall of 2003 where I actively avoided all the indian societies and friendship circles. I just wasn’t like them. I was more American and more European than anything else. I didn’t enjoy their drama, their movie and food gatherings. In fact they’re obsessiveness with it completely turned me off.

Then something happened and I am not sure what exactly. All I know is that one significant thing was that I met this amazing girl called Diya Sukh. She was was very in touch with her Indian side, but in a very cool modern way. Many late night discussions with her got me fascinated about the more interesting side of Indian-ness and Hinduism. Through her eyes it looked more beautiful than dated. Particularly the ancient philosophy (when carefully extracted from the dogmatic religious ridiculous rituals): Open mindedness, embracing the diversity of people, and that all the god’s are actually deep symbols and representation of the human experience. Like all religions (in my opinion) these god’s and principles were an expression of a way to live healthy and happily within the boundaries of good and evil. I remember a visit with Diya to this Hindu Philosopher at 6am one morning, where we spent the morning asking all sorts of questions of the universe and hearing the answers through his deep understanding of the religious philosophy. No matter how many scientific questions we would throw at him, he would have profound and logical responses within the ancient and complex hindu framework. In short, it blew my mind.

I was in a fuzz for a few days after that but I was extremely satisfied. This is what I love, when people take everything they know about life and the world and place it into a wholesome perspective. And when religion and spiritual philosophy is curved enough to shake hands with science and it’s tests, I get goosebumps. It’s not like I was completely sold on his version of the world, but rather I was influenced and affected by hearing about it. All through my life I meet people who add to my grand perspective. it is what I live for. Making sense of the bits and putting together the pieces of the big picture.

Each trip to India became more and more interesting. In the last semester of Bentley I took up yoga. My Nanu always told me that yoga is great for your well-rounded health but I hardly believed him, chalking it up to some dogmatic hookus-pokus superstition. How can stretching help you tune the body and mind?
Then bentley offered a free class one day which I went along to. The teacher, probably trained in biology, explained the chemical and biological reactions that occurred inside the body with each different pose. Bringing in oxygen to the blood circulation, massaging the organs to be more effective and various other extremely scientifically complex processes occurred when you followed this 5000 year old practice. Once again my mind was blown.

Then I went to SOAS where i studied the political economy of India since independence. With some really good teachers who kept my interest level up high. I began to really get into it. I started taking Hindi classes and of course started doing more yoga. Mushtaq Khan and Mathew Mccartney (my professors) helped me see that India was not just an extremely frustrating inefficient corrupt country but instead a complex human struggle within a society torn between its own identity and that of it’s role models. Torn, like many developing countries, between keeping its rich culture and reducing its widespread poverty. The practical issue is, within a country with such limited resources, and very minimal access to the market – people must create other ways of achieving wealth and power. Thus a swiney class of middle men are formed who stir up political trouble – socially motivating and pressurizing people to back up a created cause, earning them social power. With this mobilization of people, they use it to bargain themselves to be paid off/bribed by higher political parties to either cause trouble or not to cause trouble.

One of my favorite papers from Mushtaq talks about this phenomenon happening in Bangladesh. Bangladesh split three times since 1947. It was once part of India, but then became part of pakistan to satisfy the muslim majority. Then it split again based on language. Now you had a concentrated (pure) population of people with the same language and same religion. Then people started talking about whether they should be more religious or more secular. Even when you analyze the leaders during these times their own positions hypocritically switch from being very religious to being very secular and punishing religious extremism. Basically the story reads, if there are no problems, then create them so that you can have a cause to stand up for and lead those who will follow in order to demand a portion of the pot. A sad but common human story, one that seems to be driving things in South Asian Subcontinent. Now yes its a problem, yes its annoying, yes its probably unfixable but its so wonderfully human. People are able to mobilize in the same way for good. Studying about Kerala, how the society banded together to demand higher levels of education and healthcare from the government, and if they did not give it, they would be immediately voted out of power. Also an extremely human example of changing the system.

Because the Indian system, unlike the American one or European one, isn’t so strongly based on strict highly enforceable laws, it allows room for movement within. This is also perhaps a natural process until a sustainable system can stabilize and then perhaps the concrete can be poured on to the foundations. Instead it is based on trust. Trust is tricky because the risk of having your partner break that trust (running with the money) is extremely high. but if a solid trust can be created, it will make things a lot more efficient and a lot less papery/bureaucratic. The key to trust is to make sure that the benefit of staying trustworthy is higher than breaking that trust. ie. if i can take 10 million and run but make 7 million each year for the next 5 years, I will most likely stay cooperative. This is merely theory though, what really happens on the ground remains to be seen.

But after SOAS I got tired of the economist vs economist wrestling match in academia. I realized that there was only so much theory that I wanted to study. In order to understand it better, I have to go and experience it from the ground. Specially as someone who has always lived in a developed nation, surrounded by comforts and organized behavior. So I started looking for NGOs or different ways of getting to India. By the respected hand of fate I found this opportunity to join this social enterprise in Mumbai. It is extremely exciting and fulfills two interests/goals of mine. To live in India and to be part of a social business, because in the end for me that is a business worth engaging in. At least for now, based on where I am and where I have come from and how I personally make sense of the world.

So This is it.
I’m staring over the edge of a cliff looking down, feeling that tingling sensation whenever you look over a balcony or staircase. It’s potential energy and the manifestation of gravity thats pulling you down. This is, in the end, like gravity, i really feel it pulling on me.

——

in yoga class, the teacher always tells us to set ourselves an intention for the practice. Since I am about to embark on my own sort of “practice” or experience, i feel that I should note down my own intentions for this.

So Why am I going?
1. To get out of my comfort zone, I have been nesting in one for quite sometime
2. To understand the people and culture of a nation that is trying hard to evolve, and doing so it is trying hard to balance itself between it’s own identity and the influence role models around.
3. To reconnect with a culture that has been buried within me but has been pushing to come up. To learn it’s language (spoken, body and manneristic)
4. To challenge my current perspectives and to see things from a different angle.
5. To learn how business is done in a country that focuses more on trust, relationship and familial slide-hand business rather than staunch rules, regulations and codes of efficiency.
6. To engage in a social enterprise, one that I definitely believe in and see the great growth potential. Through it I will be able to learn sign language, how a business works and be part of a growing organism. Learning first hand how a business operates, with great responsibility rather than the bottom of a value chain.
6.Because sometimes I wonder why I was so fortunate to be born into the amazing family that I was born into. Why was I born here when someone else was born into a helpless life at the bottom of a caste system living under the tyranny of power-based political traditions. (Note: that this is not to say that I wish to renounce what I have, or that I do not appreciate what I have been given, but I find it only right that If I am in a position to live a free life (SEN), Then I wish to use it productively, and not for my own personal monetary gain but for the productivity of general society. Moving us as a race forward and in the process destroying unjust structures that the strong laid upon the weak to keep them weak. How can we be manning the moon when we cant even conquer a sustainable life on our own planet?
7. To make new interesting, inspirational and amazing connections with other humans who might cross my path.

8.Because experience will mold and chisel my soul into something useful.

Over the last few days everyone has been asking me how do I feel. I feel nervous, I feel excited, I feel that tingly sensation you get when you look over the edge. That potential energy.

But the truth is, from up here I can only try and guess how deep it is or how cold the water is, but those are distant speculations. I will only know how I feel once I jump right off, crash into the water and rise up above the water. Of course while I am in the water it will be a struggle to deal with the pressure placed on me and then the effort i need to swim back up to the surface in one sharp breath. Only then can I tell you how good it is. my thoughts are that no matter what, it will be an awesome ride and I will have no regrets about doing it.

Here it goes…

overall thought about it.
it’s like going to a family dinner at someone else’s house. You sit quietly watching, and when a petty fight breaks out, you become amused and interested in the interaction (which reveals a lot about each one’s unique psychological properties) yet at the same time you don’t wish to be in any of their positions, involved in it.

it was a very interesting, fascinating, diverse, unique place. And even some of the frustrating elements (things wrapped in a million plastic bags, yet they have can recycling points next to vending machines) and the creepy feeling of a brainwashed society can be overlooked. But living there, living within its invisible high voltage fences, in a vacum-packed city with no room to breath, would be psychologically suffocating. Even its densely sugared cuteness would eventually become too much to bare.

but as an observer and traveler i do love it. I love its contradictions, like i love contradictions in india and france. I question its sway towards efficiency -away from- humanity. i’m still extremely confused on how such a secret opressed society produces Miyazaki‘s and create the Nintendo Wii.

anyway these are some of my after thoughts about the trip.
i think i might continue with a detailed report of activities, while they are fresh i would like to remember exactly how the trip went because from personal experience, my longterm memory for these types of things can get a bit smogged up.

—————-
Now playing: Kaki King – Second Brain
via FoxyTunes

well so then an argument is was should go back to the old skool, back to our roots. back to the forest and return to the amish life of a simpleton hunting and gathering.

but tell me. isn’t yoga about mastering mind over body? isnt yoga about controlling the body in the face of gravity. i mean maybe yoga is even wrong, but i dunno to me it feels too right.

but what im trying to say is, we came to exist (whichever door you think we came through) and ended up here in the middle of wilderness. now human minds are naturally curious, creative and inventive. we like to do thinks, make things, organie things. so we forged out surroundings into something usable today. trying to better our species by moving things around.

like i sometimes wonder, in my most spiritual moments, if we are placed here in a tested way to see what we can do with what we are given. maybe this is just societies mind branding in order to make us economically productive and “achieving” but it seems that we are meant to learn how to control things. Control our animal instincts, control our behavior because our mind allows us to.

we could be running around naked having sex with every single person we see regardless of who they were. i dont know if we would be any happier really. ofcourse we are destroying our earth but at the sametime i love that i can write this to you from the living room in london. and people from all over can read it. and thats just it i guess, with every brilliant invention comes positive and negative uses. atomic energy converted into a life threatening bomb. research into cures for cancer have undoubtedly lead to finding many more biological weapons and incurable disease substances. so wat the fuck.

AND THEN Think how much longer we live since the development of technology. sanitation medicine and all that stuff. or is that also unnatural and we should all die before we reach 30?

one would say we should just stop trying and accept it all. but NATURALLY we are not able to. shouldnt we find a way to control ourselves and control our world? technology is good as long as we dont lose our focus it seems. nature is good but does not stand up straight, it flops over.

its a tough debate

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